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Squirrels Evolve, Begin World Conquest
In the rural backyards of the hick-town of Newburg, Missouri evolution had been at its daunting task. Squirrels, long hated, feared and struck by cars of humans took their next evolutionary form. The common squirrel has sprouted to astonishing heights of 20, 30 and even 40 stories high. Be forewarned, they come in pairs and carry a big stick.
These giant squirrels, armed with a vendetta, have been attacking humans and killing them in the most grotesque ways imaginable. The small town of Newburg, the breeding place of this evolutionary nightmare, was brought to ruin by the squirrels in a matter of minutes. Nearby Dixon was crushed two hours later.
These squirrels move quickly and their attacks are random and unpredictable. The Rolla Police Department has issued a call for all people owning rifles and shotguns to mobilize at Maid-Rite and be prepared to shoot-to-kill, should the squirrels attack Rolla. As usual, in global takeovers, everyone will be ordered to hold still and not fire and when the squirrels show no sign of aggression and offer the notion of peace one bumbling idiot in the crowd will scare easily and shoot one of the squirrels killing it instantly. The other squirrels will then attack in honor of the fallen squirrel and it will take more than one slug to bring these squirrels down for the sake of suspense.
In the end, the next step in squirrel evolution will be brought to a screeching hault by humans' desire to remain the all-powerful being on this island Earth.
In the rural backyards of the hick-town of Newburg, Missouri evolution had been at its daunting task. Squirrels, long hated, feared and struck by cars of humans took their next evolutionary form. The common squirrel has sprouted to astonishing heights of 20, 30 and even 40 stories high. Be forewarned, they come in pairs and carry a big stick.
These giant squirrels, armed with a vendetta, have been attacking humans and killing them in the most grotesque ways imaginable. The small town of Newburg, the breeding place of this evolutionary nightmare, was brought to ruin by the squirrels in a matter of minutes. Nearby Dixon was crushed two hours later.
These squirrels move quickly and their attacks are random and unpredictable. The Rolla Police Department has issued a call for all people owning rifles and shotguns to mobilize at Maid-Rite and be prepared to shoot-to-kill, should the squirrels attack Rolla. As usual, in global takeovers, everyone will be ordered to hold still and not fire and when the squirrels show no sign of aggression and offer the notion of peace one bumbling idiot in the crowd will scare easily and shoot one of the squirrels killing it instantly. The other squirrels will then attack in honor of the fallen squirrel and it will take more than one slug to bring these squirrels down for the sake of suspense.
In the end, the next step in squirrel evolution will be brought to a screeching hault by humans' desire to remain the all-powerful being on this island Earth.
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