Fast Cash

[comedy ]

EXT. BUDGET MOTEL, EVENING. CAR PULLS UP, out of car comes a very quick and nervous BILLY PLANK with a small duffel bag. PLANK enters the front lobby. CUT.

INT. LOBBY, MOMENTS LATER. PLANK comes through lobby, goes behind desk and grabs a room key. CUT.

INT. HALLWAY, MOMENTS LATER. PLANK comes down hall and enters a room. JUST BEFORE DOOR shuts a gloved hand stops it and enters behind PLANK, door shuts. MOMENTS LATER DOOR opens, GLOVED MAN exits room, on floor in room we see the HAND of the late BILLY PLANK. DOOR SHUTS. ALL OF THIS HAPPENS TO MUSIC.

EXT. LOBBY WINDOW, NEXT MORNING. CLOSE-UP of VACANCY SIGN.


INT. LOBBY. LACEY is standing on customer side of front desk with a housekeeping basket. HOLLY is on other side of front desk.


CUT to ROOM, MOMENTS LATER. HOLLY talks with LACEY while she cleans room.

CUT to HALLWAY, MOMENTS LATER. LACEY and HOLLY are standing outside the room that the body of BILLY PLANK rests in. LACEY knocks on door.


LACEY OPENS DOOR. CUT.

INT. BEDROOM. LOW CAMERA ANGLE, PLANK’S hand is in front of camera to side. LACEY stands in background, starring.


AWKWARD PAUSE and then CUT.

EXT. BUDGET MOTEL, MOMENTS LATER. CAR PULLS UP, out steps CHIP FELT. CUT.

INT. LOBBY. CHIP ENTERS the lobby and walks up to counter. He rings for assistance, or adlibs, one or the other. CUT.

INT. BEDROOM. LACEY and HOLLY are still silent.


INT. LOBBY. CHIP gives up, sits down and starts reading a magazine. ENTER HOLLY, she goes directly to counter and picks up phone.



CHIP sits and begins reading a magazine.

EXT. BUDGET MOTEL. A PICKUP pulls up, out steps SHERIFF JOHN BUGEL, looking a little worried about something.

INT. LOBBY. HOLLY is still on phone, CHIP is reading another magazine now.



HOLLY hangs up phone and finally notices CHIP.



ENTER BUGEL.


HOLLY leads the way. CUT.

INT. BEDROOM. LACEY is looking oddly at the corpse of PLANK.


ENTER BUGEL, HOLLY stays outside, and CHIP stands in doorway.



LACEY moves outside of room to HOLLY, BUGEL moves up to PLANK. BUGEL begins poking at the body with his nightstick.



BUGEL begins to pick PLANK up by the upper half of his body.


BUGEL begins looking around room, picks up the duffel bag and examines it. LACEY enters with a small trash bag from her housekeeping cart.


BUGEL then takes the trash bag and covers the head of PLANK and then picks him up again.

HOLLY and LACEY walk off down hallway.


CHIP pulls some latex gloves out of his pocket and puts them on.



CHIP picks PLANK up by the legs and they both start to move with his body. CUT.

EXT. BUDGET MOTEL, MOMENTS LATER. CHIP and BUGEL come out carrying the body of PLANK with HOLLY and LACEY close behind. CHIP and BUGEL make it to BUGEL’S truck and toss him on the bed.

A CAR PULLS UP, out steps SETH. SETH looks puzzled by the obvious scene. He walks up to the back of the truck and looks at the body and then checks to see if PLANK’S really dead. PEOPLE REACT.



SETH then joins mourners/onlookers.

ANOTHER CAR pulls up, out steps JUNE. She sees the mourners and rolls her eyes. JUNE walks up to PLANK and looks at him.



JUNE walks over and joins the mourners.


THIRD CAR pulls up, out steps TREVOR. He very angrily walks to the motel door.



JUNE points at the truck.



TREVOR walks up to the truck, looks at corpse.


TREVOR starts to turn away, then turns around quickly and punches the corpse. PEOPLE REACT. Then, without a word TREVOR turns and throws a physical temper tantrum: kicking, throwing punches at the air, grunting and moaning, etc. TREVOR then stops and walks into motel, JUNE and SETH follow.

CHIP, LACEY and HOLLY all enter the motel. CUT.

INT. THE LOBBY, MOMENTS LATER.

...
...
[obviously, there is more to this full-length script]

You know, usually incompetence and ignorance are two things that irritate me to know end, but they made this story even funnier. I also like how there's no motive, and there's no explaining anything that's going on. You just took a piece of the story and posted it. In other words, there's no "deeper meaning". The story exists for entertainment value, and that's it. Good work!

Well, I'm gonna add more as I write it, too. It's a full script. But yes, this is a strictly entertainment piece.

I'm taking inspiration from "Charade" with this one, if you've ever seen it? It has Audrey Hepburn, Cary Grant, Walther Matthau and a host of other well-known names and faces. Anyway... you should check it out sometime. It's good stuff. And crazily enough, it's fallen into public domain. It is actually one of my favorite movies ever... Audrey Hepburn is my favorite actor, so... what are you gonna do?

Here's an opening scene from "Charade." Priceless. The dialogue in this film is awesome beyond compare.